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lyrics

and back in that time I can remember walking around on an empty floor with a box of nails half open I remember that I was memorizing lines for a play out of fate out of fear the box it was at least half open and at least I wasn’t hungry except for thinking an idea like who cares what you live for in your garden the only things that will grow are pains coming alive before a sturdy dawn I was pacing the garden I was memorizing my lines it’s just an old house it’s just a condition I fear sometimes I’m afraid of sentences but sentences will never appear on broken television they won't appear on your broken phone you are also broken you are also tired you are also car tires and the car tires are on fire In the next life if you’re lucky does the burning pile of rubber that is actually you have to wait to burn stop playing the dirty dawn like it’s stupid stop giving in to idiocy out of fate out of fear you were practicing your lines didn’t you practice you fucking clown of fate it’s just an old house its just a condition you fear these lines won’t appear on a forgotten television they won’t appear on your broken phone out of fate out of fear we're running out of things can you wait or go to the store first I can tell that you’re not sick you’re not tired you’re just paranoid and nameless quit trying to blame the decapitated dawn quit trying to memorize my lines for a play I didn’t ask to be a part of before I was thrown vulgar and wet out of the tunnel out of fate out of fear quit trying to blame the decapitated dawn I’m just trying to memorize my lines for a play I didn’t ask to be a part of before I was thrown vulgar and wet out of the tunnel out of fate out of fear and maybe I will see the sturdy dawn quit trying to blame the decapitated dawn quit trying to memorize my lines for a play I didn’t ask to be a part of before I was thrown vulgar and wet out of the tunnel out of fate out of fear and maybe I will see the sturdy dawn quit trying to blame the decapitated dawn I’m just trying to memorize my lines for a play I didn’t ask to be a part of before I was thrown vulgar and wet out of the tunnel out of fate out of fear and maybe I will see the sturdy dawn the present is a bloated pig floating in a blithe caravan of black trash bags to heaven scrape up whatever you can to put together that tomorrow even though in present fever dreams who knows what it means to feel or see or expect the pigs to tell apart the truth confused about why some ideas persist some die a rightful death some reborn to die again that must mean the numbers didn’t help at all don’t punish me if you won’t punish the “me” of yesterday if I had two wishes after cancelling your wishes I would ask for more silence more silence claw my eyes out if I had two wishes after cancelling your wishes I would ask for more silence more silence the javelin flying at me is my secret friend

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from Absolute Still Life, released July 19, 2019

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